Am i A Masochist???

the things i mention here might have u call me a sadist. But ppl u are using the wrong term. U r actually looking for the word masochist.

Sadist : enjoys inflicting pain on others

Masochist : enjoys having pain inflicted on themselves.

OK now dunt get scared im not daaaaat bad. its juz minor things.

in sumways to me its painful pleasure.

so here are the things dat may or may not make me a masochist. =)

1. i enjoy putting salt on my (mouth) ulcers, at first it was to kill the germs, n it hurt like crazy but i found it be a rather enjoyable feeling n so now i always do it. kinda like gettin an adrenaline rush. . .

2. I like having injections, more specifically blood tests. . . always haf... even as a child.

discovered my strange fetish wen i had to be tested 4 abt a week for dengue wen i was 7. .

i was actually enjoying myself..(nurses didnt haf to worry abt me being afraid... dey called me a brave child.... hahah...little did dey noe)

in Std 6 for BCG i was excited to get it wen most ppl were afraid.

in form3. . . no one seemed to wanna go first 2 get the tetanus shot. . . . but i was happy to go

to tell u the truth i seriously cuden wait to get it. . . coz it had been ages since i got one....

3. K dis mite scare u little.

I once peeled off my skin whr i had accidently burnt myself. . . .

it felt so good. . . it was bleeding like crazy coz it was already half healed

but the pain was terrible. . . halfway thru tears were rollin down my face. but i kept goin newayz.

my mum thot i was crazy... coz i kept sayin ouch as i was peelin it off.

i tried to do it again. but it had healed too much = (.

4. when i was 9, for sum reason i start hittin myself with a ruler, repeatedly for no apparent reason. . . by the end of it my hand were red and i was crying. Till today i haf no idea wat possessed me to do dat. but i know y i did it. . . . . . . . . it was nice.

K now dats ive listed the these things down. . . it seems kinda freaky. . . but these r minor things im not dat bad. ( like sum of those ppl whu whip themselves) but u be the judge.

seeing as im a bit strange like this. . . id prob make a good junkie, embrace d pain of gettin a tattoo n immensly enjoy havin an acupuntur treatment. all in all its good. =)

Life's like that. . .

So i am in a state of euphoriA. nopez its not chocolates altho it played a small teeeny weeny part,

but everything's gettin better. . .things are slowly progressin towards wat ive been hopin for. N hopefully it will work out *fingers crossed*

i screwed things up. N God knows i totally deserve wat i got. but if things cont. like dat much longer i wud b dead.

So thank you.

Ur like the best thing ever.

wat goes around comes around. (screw u j.Timberlake) but yeaaa.. its true
PetwwwwweeNa.. ur prob d only one whu noe wat im talkin abt. =)

So for wat has been happenin this pass few days,
u haf left me feelin happy.

emptiness is dimishing. N i pray it stays dat way.

YAY!

I AM FREEEE!!!!. . . . .

I AM ASSIGNMENT-LESS. . . .
WHEEE. . . . . .

FINALLY.. ITS DONE WITH. BUT I HAVE A TEST ON THURS, NVMLA. . . AT LEAST ONE DAY OF PEACE RIGHT.

CUD SLEEP OK LAST NIGHT (after 1missedcall ordeal) COZ I HAD BEEN AWAKE FOR OVER 24 HRS AND WAS DEAD TIRED.

YUP YUP *nods* THIS IS THE 1ST STEP TO FACING ME FEARS.

STEP 1 : ACCOMPLISHED. . . ( vey good nat, I (myself) am very proud of u (myself again)


oooHH petwwwena made cuppy cakes last nite. .. n she gave me sum. . .
but we spent an hr talkin in the car and i ended up eating 10 of dem. verrrrry nice. esp the icing..

one day she can come over and we can both make icing and eat it! = )

sighh.... i love cupcakes. . . .

well specifically ONE cupcake =)

Such An Idiot!

I am such an IDIOT!

haihzz... i got 1missed call frm messy lessy. . . .

den supposed to wait for sum1 to teman me den watch.

instead wat do i go and do?. . . juz now i played the movie.. . . n scrolled thru

N it freaked me out. my hands are actually shaking now. N today ive to sleep alone. hence the title.

such an idiot!

*inhaaaale* nat *exhaaaaaale* conquer ur fears

YOU

You! totally made my day

how?

by just bein urself

by just being thr for me

by bein the way u used to be

you. have made not only my day but my week and even my month.

FATE!

i Cant believe it... Shaffy ( who was supposed to come back here to cont Law in Taylors but conned me n is now leaving) came back for a short visit sometime ago...

Finallly.. we managed to meet up... went to KLCC

anNND...

we bumped into SANA!!!

the one whu was supposed to be in Switz... who i wasnt expecting to see ANY time sooon...

there was a lot of commotion when we (me and shaffy) and sana realised wat we were seeing( screaming... hugging.. people around us were staring)... very coool... and totally FATE.
why? u might ask

1. me and Shaffy were discussing how much we missed Sana and how we shud someday meet up in Europe!

2. Sana had lost our contacts... so she cuden call us.

3. Sana was not expecting Shaffy to be here

4. we had never thought we'd all see each other again together... till like 2009 or sumthing.

5. WE WERE IN KLCC WALKING PASS THE SAME SHOP AT THE SAME TIME!!

coincidence??? NOP

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My Love Begins To Cro..Ak

If ur malaysian and u attended a gov school. . . . u wud have covered the book Phantom Of The Opera in Form 2 righhhht?? *you smile n nod ur head*

Now remember when sum weird lady went on stage and sang :

My love begins to crroo. . Ak... crOAk...croaK. . . . .love begins to crro. . .AAk
now remmeber dat tune. follow and sing along!

i Want to blOO...OOgg...BBLooG..... bBloooG!

[sorry. was just bored, waitin for class to start in 20 mins. see im a gooood student]


ooooooooOOOOh shit! sorry. . . forgot to add dat u wud haf 2 had been in my class Form 2 to remember dat tune. . . coz we did a skit on it. n i was singing dat part. =)

again. [ SING ALONG!!] i aam.. soooRRy..SoooRRy Sorry!

Surprise Surprise!!

Soooo..... Surprise Surprise i didnt get lucky the other day = ( which can only mean one thing.

:: My poor much-older-den-its actual years back is aching so much to the point that wen i move its no longer called walking.. its more like hobbling along.....SIGHHH. . .

Another Surprise Surprise. . . . i FINALLLLY DID IT!!! FINALLY!!! after all the pressure and stress and contemplations. I DID IT! *big wide smile*

[if u dun't noe wat im talking about. . . i mean my Assignment... not 'it' u weirdo. . . ]

Againnn. . . Surprise Surprise its FRIDAY!! wheeee. . . . do i get to have fun?? NOP!
why?? because now have next assignment to get started on. *shakes head in disgust*
but if u havent noticed. . . i am super-procrastinator-girl. . . due on monday.. il start tmr =)

Soo... wat am i doin today?? Finallly gonna meet shafffy! can't belive she'z abandoning me for sum dumb literature course in Europe or sumthing. . . . like WTF? cant figure out which is worse... doin literature... or abandoning me!

Den if i can pluck up enuf courage. . . i might juz watch One Missed Call again. its called :

CONQUER UR FRIGGIN FEARS!!

My life after i had struggled months to put the horrifying movie behind me was almost perfect. . . until dat one fine day. . . Panda's phone rang and what do u noe? Surprise Surprise. . . the bloody ringtone.. scared the f*** out of me. which brought me to the sad but true realization dat i hadn't put it behind me. So only thing i can think of doin now. is to keep watching it. OVer n OVER N oVER N OVER again... until it no longer freaks me out! den i shalll be set free of the nasty ringtone demons.. FREEEEEEEE! FREEE i tell you... FREEEEEEEEEEEE!!

Dunt think i dunt noe wat ur sayin to urself... ur secretly pointin and whispering behind my back dat u think im weeird.. juz coz U found dat movie stupid and sooo NOT scary.
but i dun't care.... it totally freaked me out... Y do u think i no longer sleep in my own bed??

Procrastination

Procrastination is the mother of all negative-traits!

Like wtf..i was supposed to have finished the bloody assign/m Mondy nite!!

WHAT DAY IS IT TODAY?? fCUKIN WEDNESDAY!

AM I DONE? NO!!

SIGHHHHH. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

WAT AM I DOIN ?????

. . . . . . .B L O G G I N G!. . . . . . . .

GETTING LUCKY. . .

MY SCHEDULE FOR TODAY :

wake up. . . (if i didn't it might be a problem)

brush teeth : shower : put on sum clothes

get sum food (prevent starvation) : find books :leave house

go for econs class (stick toothpicks under eyelids to stay awake)

break - use com to do assignments (or mayb something else if its more appealing)

go over to No Wanking's hse n see if i can get lucky =)
[by that i mean get massage. . .not wat ur thinking]

visit grandma (try to make her smile again)

rest is unknown. . . . .

WHY?

WHY DO U DO THIS ME???

IT BREAKS DOWN MY DEFENSES AND LEAVES ME VUNERABLE ALL OVER AGAIN.

BUT SOMEHOW. . . I DUN'T HATE YOU. . . . . .

NOT YET NEWAY.

I Give Up. . .

Never thought it would be this difficult. . . . .

Still, i thought that i could get through it . . . . . .

But now i know i can't. . . . .

Only you can help me, so please. . . . .help me.

Becoming A Nerd!

i shalll remember today......19 August 2007

seriously sad ( as in pathetic) close to depressing day...

so i woke up at 11.30 ish..... and had to start doin assignments....

den i thot nvm chilll first... later on can go out =)

den petweeeNa calls says lets go AnW wid Zu n Pet (3.45)

wait waaiit....... mama only comes home at 6.30pm ( sighhh... so cuden go)

first thing she says is.. : i misssed u sooooooo much
.................................: come sit on my lap n gimme a hug

oooookaaay.... seriiously mum... u juz saw me last nite.

by this time i had a super craving for banana split.

den im like all ready to go out... Mum says be home by 12... = )
calll Amanda... buuuuuuT she'z not even home... like Wtf...

Pet doin assignments....

So den me call No Wanking.... but den he no pick up phone = (

eveN my mum didnt feel like temaning me to eat ice-cream

so i gave up...... i bought choc and sat in my room.. with the radio blasted
for like 2 hrs plus... N den i came online.... which is NoW

can u imagine a sadder day??Sighhhhh... n i havent even had dinner yet

Mayb i shud become a nerd... juz be happy sittin at home n studyin?? = )

Best Grandma!

........[ hahaha...grandma so small n short =) ]..................

If u met my grandma u too wud agree that she is the best grandma ever,
My grandma, aged 73 used to be an extremely active person, physically and mentally, she’d do gardening, and all the cooking ( which is y my mum and aunty are useless at it), she spoilt us all. After I moved out of my grandma’s place, she used to alwiz cook me anything I wanted and for my b’day she’d take me food shopping. All my friends whu’v met her say she’z sweet or really nice…esp Pet ( think she unofficially adopted my grandma 10 yrs ago since the dumb girl refused to give her own grandmother nuggets).
When I was younger grandma used to say she’z 5’3, heheh… I am 5’3..poor small grandma…she shrunk. I laugh a lot…think I got it from her.. she said she used to get into trouble at school coz she cuden stop laughin. The only problem grandma had was her weak knees, and in March dey finally gave way. She really wanted to do a knee replacement…. She was so excited, she cuden wait to do it and be able to walk around normally. Operation supposedly went well but den couple of hours later she had a massive brain stroke.
Now grandma can’t do anything, she cant open her eyes, she cant walk, she can’t talk, she cant even eat the normal way. The only thing we’r grateful for is that we know she can hear us and understand what we’r saying… and that means we have a chance of bringin her back.. 3 months now she’z been like dat… she’z been thru so much pain…the original physiotherapy for her knees…bedsores( trust me, its something u will never in ur life wanna see or feel)…. It isn’t fair dat she has to go thru all this shit… but dat’s life.
I miss you tons grandma… miss sitting on ur lap ( yup stil used to do dat even this year)… miss the way u’d tell us funny stories of ur past… u always took my side against my mum and amanda’s (haha)…. And u’d put so much effort into making prawn sambal JUST for me simply bcoz I loved it. I hope that by Christmas u’ll be well enough to be sitting at a computer and reading this. I love you tons Grandma. mWwwwah

Not A Tomato Head = )

NOW EVERYBODY LOOK AT THIS AND SAY :

YAY! MY FREND NATASHA IS JUZ PLAIN OL' NATASHA.. NOT THE TOMATO HEAD SHE THOT SHE MIGHT TURN OUT TO BE.

i loooove Patrick.. dats d dude dat coloured my hair... nice man... i like the colour...( its got dark brown...light brown..red) smart man... as for the fringe... dat's a diff story.

But i tell u i dunt think ive ever been dat nervous in my entire life!

my legs had turned to JELLY (dis wen dey had started colouring my hair), my heart felt like it was gonna pop out of my mouth.... not to mention it was pounding so hard i cuden hear anything else.

thank god i didnt haf to stand up... or walk anywhere... coz im sure my legs wud ha not carried me! but in the end it was OK! now juz need to let my fringe grow out and it'll be great. = )

oooh haf u guys seeen Jasmine's tattooo? its awesome!! im so gettin a tattoo.. mum dunt kill me = )

Tomato Head = (

most of u ppl reading this noe me right.....

so think of how i look right now...... ok done??

now keep that image (esp my hair part) in ur head... because the next time i see u am no longer gonna look like dat.

I am goin for sum hair workshop ( cut & colour) thing tmr.. n all i can say is:

PLS GOD.... DUNT LEMME EMERGE FRM THE 46TH FLOOR TMR LOOKING LIKE A TOMATO HEAD....sighh... pray for me ppl.

Mission FaaaaileD!!

Sorry to disappoint ya ppl buuuuuuuuuut...

err...how shud i say dis?? ummm... im afraid ppl might come after me

inhaale... exhaaaaaaaaaaaale....inhaale..exhale... ok here goes..

[deep breath]imSOSOOOOOrrytopeoplelikeSowmzandothervegetariansouttherefornotgivingveggiestherespecttheydeservebuti didntmakeit!!!vegetarian ordeal FAILED miserably = (. umm actually i hardly even got passed Day 3.



my resepect for vegetarians.. if before at Level 1 has shot up to Level 10!! im so proud of u ppl...wheeee =)



LOOng live ze vegggetables!! (dey look happy)

[wat vege is yellow?? isn't dat a banana? oh well.. works for meee]

Surviving the Vegetarian Ordeal

HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED HOW THE HELL NON-VEGETARIANS SURVIVE BEING VEGETARIAN?? WELLLL.... ILL TELL U IN WEEK! I HAF DECIDED TO TRY THIS OUT BEGINNING FROM 7TH aUG 2007 ( cos im sure i didnt eat meat yesterday..i think) to THE 13TH aUG 2007... will cont to update dis. wish me luck!

btw dis font is in green.. to honour and show respect for vegetables.

Oooh....Lesbians Unite!

[ WARNING ] FOR THE LIGHT-HEARTED, PREGNANT WOMEN AND THOSE STRONGLY
AGAINST LESBIANISM, THE IMAGES BELOW ARE GRAPHIC SCENES OF
LESBIANISM (obviously) AND MIGHT RESULT IN NEGATIVE COMMENTS
AND FEEDBACK. IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE IT THEN DO NOT! I REPEAT
DO NOT! SCROLL DOWN
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- are you sure about this?
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- once u go.. no turning back
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- oookay den.. PREPARE URSELF!!
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HAHAH... U SICK-MINDED PERSON...U ACTUALLY SCROLLED DOWN...HOPING TO SEE SUM ACTION, SORRY TO DISAPPOINT YOU... BUT THIS IS ALL. HOPEFULLY THE PEOPLE IN THE PICS DUN'T COME LOOKING FOR ME = ). IN A LIL WHILE WE CAN OBSERVE AND STUDY THESE PICS...BUT 1ST LEMME TELL YOU.. THIS IS HOW IT ALLLLLL STARTS, INNOCENT KISSING (no tongue), SLOWY D KISSES BECOME err.....SLOPPIER AND WET-ish?
AND DEN AFTER DAT . . .(u noe).

FYI the black and white pics were all taken on the same day......

and u noe whr???

at A&W!!!?!! RIGHT SMACK IN THE MIDDLE!

it occured to me later on when i noticed ppl staring at us...dat we were in a Family restaurant,

and kids were all over the place... its amazing we didnt get kicked out of thr. sooooo neway

to start observing...

observe the common factor [ pembolehubah yg dimalarkan (cool.! i remembr d malay term)]
:: well if ur not blind or just plain dumb den ull obviously see dat its PuiKar

now wats d english term for pembolehubah yg dimanipulasikan??
:: but the answer shud be the other girls

Does this mean that Puiks is the lesbian??? YES IT DOES!!! now wud i say dat???
i say this because...d crazy girl wanted to kiss 30 females b4 her 18th bday....n us,poor unsuspecting innocent girls fell victim to her malicious experiment.. (me...twice!)

what hypothesis can we make of the data collected??
::: PuiKar is the lesbian and we are merely pawns in her vicious cycle of homosexuality.

i have no idea y i did this... Petweena if ur reading this... me and puiks r goin to get u on Friday... u willl be forced to CiumCium us...eskimo-kissy-kissy. just so u guys noe... im the other girl in both the pics on the right.wheeeeee..........
ppl out thr... sorry if this offends u.

My One And Only

MY ONE AND ONLY


Since U’ve been gone I crave your touch,
I long to taste, to see and to feel you,
I count the seconds till we meet again,
I miss the days we used to share
curled up together on the sofa watching TV or reading,
I miss you so much..... more then u can ever imagine
Want to feel the taste of your rich smooth skin on my lips,
We’ve been through so much together….. good and bad,
And I know now that no matter what I do,
I will never ever find another like you.
You haunt my thoughts night and day,
Missin u so much it hurts
Because U are irreplaceable,
Always and forever you will be
My one and only......

C H O C O L A T E …. = )

DON'T THIS LOOK EXTREMELY YUMMY ???

banana??!?

THIS IS ME AND THAAATS A HAPPY BANANA. ==============D

SEE ANY SIMILARITIES?? No rytttt.... Then how come everything connected to me

has the word banana in it??? i shall tell u y. becoooz Bananas are very cool

fruits, u can do veeery interesting things wid it.( dunt think dirty u pervert!). lets see..

HAHAH... isn't dat interesting? think about this the next time ur lack of clothes *wink*

But dunt' go walkin into a monkey-infested jungle now coz den..........

So after my banana speech, any guesses on wat wud be my fav type of ice-cream???

TADAAAAAAA....... a beautiful mouth-watering banana-split, u guessed right!

Hopefully this is sufficient explanation for my not-so-new banana craze. laterzz

Tom Welling!!!

For those of you who know me not, the image above is simply a picture of the man of my dreams. now look at this pic and tell me he isn't like the hottest thing ever! If u noe him or ever know how i can meet him pls lemme noe. N if u didnt noe dat i Lurrrve Tom Welling den go away coz ur not my frend. hmphh.